Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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