so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
