where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
