if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
