Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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