i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
sex in a hospital.. check
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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