oh god the rape fog is back!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up under a house in Key West
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
