Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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