who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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