i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
kristin has been a bad kristin
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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