mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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