At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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