my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
