doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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