Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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