just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
