she looked like the bat from fern gully.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
