Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you still have your period?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
