She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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