I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
