Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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