therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
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Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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