Kiss
Puke
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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