Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize