Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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