you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
