is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize