wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
