I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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