you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
