just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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