it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do vagina's smell?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
