Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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