i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
