covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
