I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize