The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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