I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
