I am puke
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
