I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
