TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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