I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
