it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize