My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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