9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
