She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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