Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
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I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
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Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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