Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
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