Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So vagazzling was a success
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
