Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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