She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
