I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Randomize
