State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My penis needs a shock collar
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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