I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
