Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
